Violet Quinn Andrew December 16, 2019 7lb 3oz 20 1/4in
In my mind I have been writing this post for months, but words aren’t coming together. Sometimes words can’t capture a moment.
I will never forget the day Laura called me. Her voice was filled with sadness. Shock. Disbelief. Uncertainty. She told me there was something wrong with her baby and the doctor even presented termination at the appointment. How do you respond to that? How, if you’ve never lived that moment do you have any idea. I didn’t. I listened and cried quiet tears. Later that day I sent her a list of questions to ponder over. They are between us. They are things I would never want to consider, but she and Dave did. Here is their story. Violet’s story. At least the first chapter. It begins something like this,
“Where the seed of termination was planted, there grew Violet”
Laura’s Words: After a miscarriage of an unexpected pregnancy in January, we were elated to find out we were pregnant in April. I opted for genetic testing due to the recent miscarriage, and a week after getting blood drawn, we received a phone call saying it was a girl, but genetic testing showed an abnormality, and we were being sent to maternal fetal medicine and a genetic counselor. We actually went the very next day for an appointment, not knowing what to expect…hoping that the bloodwork was a false positive. They started the ultrasound, and we were told that there were abnormalities consistent with the bloodwork. I remember sobbing while dave just held my hand. I could hear him swallowing hard every time. We were told fluid would likely overtake her tiny body and there wouldn’t be a heartbeat at a future appointment…it could be 2 weeks, or it could be another 20 weeks. I remember Dave saying he couldn’t bear to see me go through that again…that’s how the miscarriage was discovered in January. I just remember apologizing profusely because I didn’t think I was strong enough to handle this or go through another miscarriage. Then termination was thrown on the table. In order to avoid coming in for an appointment and not finding a heartbeat, it was suggested that we terminate the pregnancy now. I had the phone number of an abortion clinic in my hand when I got home. I laid in bed crying the whole night, thinking what a horrible person I was for considering termination. I’ve always been pro-life, so why would I terminate now? But, at the same time, I know medically that if she were to pass away in utero, there was a much higher risk of complication later on. So maybe we should do it? I prayed harder in those 24 hours than I’ve ever prayed in my life, asking for guidance, wisdom, and peace.
We decided we couldn’t terminate. Whatever is going to happen is up to God, and it’s officially out of our hands. We’re going to love her with everything we have, no matter what. I called maternal fetal medicine a couple days later and asked if we could repeat the ultrasound and monitor her condition. Fast forward 2 weeks. I expected no heartbeat. I didn’t want to look at the screen, so I just looked at Dave. Then I heard her heart and looked up at the screen. What was seen on the previous ultrasound was actually improving. We decided to come back in another month and continue to monitor…possibly have an amniocentesis performed. The ultrasound was completely normal. I opted for the amniocentesis that day in order to receive some answers and hopefully a definitive diagnosis. I wanted to be able to research and have a plan in place when she was born in order to get her the help she might need. I wanted to know as much as I could in order to be able to take care of her the best that I possibly could. 3 separate tests were performed from the amniocentesis, which were sent to Texas. It took 4 weeks to get everything back…and every single test was normal!! There was no genetic anomaly. She was a perfectly normal baby girl. We were then sent for an echocardiogram of her heart ‘just to make sure’, and that test was normal as well! I cried when we were told the final results of the testing, as we had been preparing for worst case scenario and possibly losing the baby late in pregnancy.
Yet those tears were nothing compared to the day she was born. I came completely undone when I saw her face for the first time…the face we had been told to terminate. This past year was filled with great sorrow, but it cannot compare to the joy we’re currently experiencing. What a gracious and merciful God we serve. I never would have made it through this year without our support system. You know who you are. THANK YOU! These last 2 weeks have been filled with extreme gratitude and love.
Thank you for stopping by and taking a moment to read this story. Please feel free to leave a special word for Violet or her family. This is Laura’s prayer for her sweet girl,
“That she knows how special and wanted she is. I pray that she cleaves to Christ and allows Him to fully command her destiny with grace. That she finds her passion and follows it with all of her heart.”
